Category: in-laws


Listen, Bitch…

Filed Under: cranky days, deployment, frustrated, in-laws by Cait — 3 Comments
March 20, 2011

For the last week, I’ve been stuck on this stupid conversation I had with a family member. I know, I know, I should just let it go. But for whatever reason, even knowing she’ll never see this…there are just some things that need to be said.

How dare you preach to me about marriage. I may not have been married forever, but it’s definitely been longer than you. Not to mention that you were engaged I don’t even know how many times before you actually sealed the deal back in November. Add in that you’ve already gone and gotten the proper paperwork to dissolve said marriage, and you are *the.last* person I would ever seriously listen to concerning married life.

That comment you made? The one about how sometimes being married would be easier if you just didn’t have to deal with your husband every day? Yea, guess what? Wrong person to say that to. In fact, your choices to walk away from your husband on such a regular basis and stay elsewhere are all the more aggravating because I would give the world to have The Husband home again. But as we’ve discussed in other conversations, that just isn’t possible.

So you can take your selfish nonsense, and you can shove it. Don’t send The Husband a box of tampons – regardless of what your intentions are. Don’t use my family as a conversational topic to get people to feel bad for you. Don’t try to tell me you understand how I must be feeling, because you have no idea. I doubt you’re capable of it, really. But most importantly, I want to hear N.O.T.H.I.N.G. about how I can call you any time I need to talk. Because that’s bogus. You are completely incapable of letting anyone else be the center of attention, even momentarily, when you’re around.

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Playing Catch-up…Again

Filed Under: flow of consciousness, in-laws, kids, Momma, random, stupid lists by Cait — 3 Comments
May 7, 2010

~ And once again, we’re falling apart. I’m not convinced that’s anything surprising. Hopefully we can pull our situation back from the edge…get things turned around with a new location all our own.

~ None of you manage to stay in touch, so I can’t really update you since I don’t know what is or isn’t news to you. Perhaps you should stop thinking just of your own damn selves. Reach out every now and again; see what’s going on with lives that don’t directly link to your own.

~ The world is giving me the run-around, but that’s quite alright. I’ll take the exercise, and use it to my advantage – to help me reach my own goals. So please, keep making me jump through hoops and put my whole self into everything I do. You’re only helping me, and I don’t mind at all (mostly).

~ Soak up the time you get, because this could well be the last of the time you get. I mean, you can babysit for us, since you wanna move out of this area, too. Just know that the tables will be turned and you’ll be following our (read: MY) rules, or you’ll lose ou. I don’t have to care about your feelings anymore if we make this happen.

~ Will you buy my big boy a bed? Not sure if it’s gonna be necessary just yet. We’ll discuss that some other time – maybe the next time I turn yr basement into a laundromat or a gym…the gym thing will probably happen first, so we’ll say that. Also, I cannot begin to describe how much it means to me that you’re being so supportive of this whole thing.

~ Weight-loss is proving difficult. It’s a little discouraging to be struggling so much so early on, but I’ll get it figured out and get this show on the road. I have my own dreams and goals to achieve, still. I WILL make it happen.

~ Did you know that there’s a dirty skank out there that I, personally, have been dealing with? Yea, it’s a pretty gnarly tale, and it’s not done yet. I’ll catch back up on that soon, too. I just have to be careful because going back through it proves pretty damn difficult.

~ Sweet babies, I haven’t forgotten you. In fact, you’re the biggest reasons I don’t hang around here all the time anymore. You’re so busy all the time that it’s hard to find time to tell anybody how totally awesome you are if I don’t physically see them. Bubba Bear, my big boy. You’re talking to us! Not everything comes out totally clear, but you’re trying more words, and even a few phrases! Pickle Nickle, my tiny dizzy dancer. I need to record your newest little dance for you to watch when you’re older, because it’s fantastic! Between the sounds you make and the way you thrash around, you could cure depression with your cute.
I want both of you to stay little forever!!

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The Quick Version

Filed Under: about me, flow of consciousness, frustrated, husband letters, in-laws, kids, random, stupid lists by Cait — Leave a comment
February 25, 2010

~I’m in the process of preparing myself to get all my mental issues checked out, with the possibility of getting medicated.

~There’s definite danger of random strangers on the street or at the mall suffering the repercussions of my head exploding.

~Dear, dear banes of my existence…I’m working on getting us out from under your feet, on our own. Things around here are far too difficult for me to be able to deal with them for any great length of time. I need better organization, less disastrous mess. I wanna be able to wash my own clothes (when I wanna do it), scrub my own floors, cook on my own stove, use my little hot pink Dirt Devil to suck up my own dirt, put our clothes away in our own closets, and store my plates in my my own cabinets. I think it’s time to quit, and plan a whole separate post on this topic for a different day.

~We have errands to complete. Not to mention a letter to write to set things in motion. Also, we need to get “US” back on track. I’m tired of feeling like I’m losing you.

~I know we don’t come visit often enough. I’m trying to change that whole situation, things are just really complicated around here. I make no promises, obviously, but I fully intend to provide all parties with far more frequent visits. Especially with the possibility of us moving away looming on the horizon.

~Y’know what I’m currently trying to accomplish for you? The far more toddler-friendly living environment you both deserve. Some semblance of normalcy and typical family life – perhaps military family life, but a life all on our own as just the four of us. Why, you ask? Because it’ll be way better that way. (And? Mommy really needs her own effing space already!!)

~Because the situations necessitate that I may have a need for an animal free space and/or the occasional break, we’ll probably be seeing much more of each other. And, just for the record, I greatly appreciate you making your space our space.

~Blanket statement…I’m not totally stable lately, so please don’t take my reactions completely to heart as they are not at all a guarantee of the reality of my emotions. The first thing out of my mouth is not always the real answer.

And now that I’m not even making sense to myself, it’s time to say “Goodnight, Lucy” and call it a day. Or a night, as the case may be. Hopefully I’ll be able to re-find my train of thought. We’ll see about that later, though.

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Catching Things Up a Bit

Filed Under: about me, cranky days, flow of consciousness, frustrated, husband letters, in-laws, kids, Momma, random by Cait — 3 Comments
December 30, 2009

~The reality of things is just this simple: I’m not safe from myself, so none of you are totally safe from me, either.

~Sweet babies…Mommy may have to go away for a while, but that does NOT change the fact that I love you as big as the sky. You are my heart, and that will never change.

~You’ve burned me badly here in recent months. Whether or not I’m ready to, or have already forgiven you for any of it is irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that I simply cannot trust you with my heart or feelings, and until you work on your own issues that cannon and will not change – even a tiny bit.

~All of you are blissfully unaware of the unspeakable tragedies going on in my personal life. I fully intend to keep it that way for as long as possible, because I can’t handle the hell that would come about if some/any of you were brought totally up to speed.

~I understand that you went through some similar struggles earlier this year with the other pair, but this situation is DRASTICALLY different, and your seeming refusal to get involved in any way is proving to be VERY hurtful, seeing as I’ve made myself vulnerable to you by asking/ begging for your help – even a little of it.

~Some of you are currently in the know; some of you are aware of unrest in the situation; some may be asked to step in later if I can’t handle it on my own; and still some will forever remain in the dark. No matter where you happen to fall on that spectrum, I have to thank you for always being there for me (at least within reason, I mean), and for always loving me. Those 2 simple things mean more than you realize.

~I don’t have any idea who you are, where you’re from, or any other detail about you – and I am TOTALLY fine with that…in fact, that’s probably for the best, because after all the damage you’ve done already it’s grounds for me maiming or disfiguring you at this stage of the game. But know this. If it continues – harmlessly, or otherwise – and I find out about it…you better hope we never meet, because I’ll kill your home-wrecking ass. It is black and white from here on out. Ball’s in your court, skank.

~If I’m not around, or I seem different than my usual self: It’s because my whole world is turned on its ear at the moment. Things I never thought would happen to me are now aspects of my daily life. I’m learning how to get through it, but it’s a slow, hard process. Please just be here for me – even silently – while I heal.

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Short Notes, Random Ones

Filed Under: about me, cranky days, flow of consciousness, frustrated, husband letters, in-laws, random, the boy, the girl by Cait — Leave a comment
October 17, 2009

Dear Brain,
What mysterious chemical imbalance are you afflicted with so chaotically? And why did you have to randomly be wired to crash me high and low, back and forth, again and again, all in the blink of an eye? Oh, the debilitating sensory aversions are just kicking me when I’m already down…have mercy! For the love of Pete, at least don’t manifest as a dire NEED to clean and wash while we live here. The floors here being coated by mold and/or kitty litter is making it physically IMPOSSIBLE to do a damn thing. I can’t scrub the basement floor on my knees with a toothbrush because I can’t walk on the basement floor without gagging. I can’t wash my own clothes because the laundry room floor is coated by a layer of kitty litter and the feel of it makes me want to drown kittens.

Dear MIL,
If you make a bottle for either of my children, do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT just drop the formula scoop back into the can to then be covered by said formula because having to touch that powder to retrieve the scoop will trigger a HUGE sensory reaction, making me VERY angry for absolutely no reason…. Just because you don’t get the angry face of Caitlin doesn’t mean you can still just do what you want and get away with it all.

Dear Children,
Your constant screaming and neediness is going to drive mommy KRAYZEE if you don’t cut it out already. The clinging to my pody will not fly anymore. Mommy needs her personal space, regardless of what you want.

Irritating Cats,
You’re getting closer and closer to driving me to drink. I don’t know which of you figured out how to open the door to Pickle’s room, but for the simple fact that you let the fat black and white ass-hole cat in there when all he cares to do is sit on my daughter’s face…you deserve to feel pain. And as if that’s not enough. the constant yowling…it keeps me awake at night. Cut the crap or I cut you. ALL!

Dear Husband,
I had a complete mental breakdown, followed by a full-on panic attack, and you did NOTHING to help me come back from the edge. I love you dearly, but that’s unacceptable from you. I need a shoulder to lean on right now. I need a strong support system, headed up by you because you’re my husband. Step it up, please. I need you now, more than ever, love.

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Truth

Filed Under: cranky days, flow of consciousness, in-laws, kids, random, stupid lists by Cait — Leave a comment
September 15, 2009

~I have been broken, now beyond any hope of repair, and I can’t help but to lay blame all around.

~My shattered spirit holds no driving, burning desire to live after everything I’ve been put through, at the hands of those I love the most.

~Every relationship I’ve ever been a part of has left me newly damaged goods; each exacting its toll differently, but terribly all the same.

~The life drains slowly from me with every passing day that brings no attempt at reparations.

~Always, the hardest blows come from the most unexpected sources, at the absolute most inopportune moments.

~True grace consistently evades my best efforts at every turn, even still.

~I am – without doubt – the only person in this house who is in any real way commitedly serious about getting rid of all these disgusting animals my mother-in-law seems so determined to keep around for no good reasons.

~The cruelty is becoming less and less of a deterrent to my absolute NEED to get rid of these filthy animals. As if the fleas weren’t enough, now the dog has begun pooping on the floor outside Pickle’s bedroom, the cats have started trying to claim the babies’ things – Boogaloo’s high-chair, the play pen, their toys, binkies, bottles – as their own, what with their constant peeing/spraying/chewing/laying on everything.

~There is no logical explanation for the current and constant state of the place we call home. I’ve heard – multiple times – of at least one law against having as many cats as live in this house every single day, just creating more and more health hazards for my babies.

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Creeper…Know Your Place

Filed Under: cranky days, in-laws by Cait — Leave a comment
August 20, 2009

Dear Father In-Law,
Please take very close note of that title by which I addressed this letter to you. That’s right, you are the father of my husband, grandfather of my children. Do you understand the implications of that? The GIGANTIC barrier that puts between you and me, do you see and acknowledge that? (Because, whoa boy, I do, and also, I LOVE IT saving me!) It means that not only are you a creepy old pervert, and an incestuous, dirty bastard, but you are also a semblance of a pedophile. Do you not realize how old you are? Especially compared to me? You have damn near 30 years on your son, and he’s 5 years my senior. That means I wasn’t even close to being born by the time you turned 18. Don’t look at me how you do.
As the father of my husband, you have ZERO business looking at me like that. I’m not in any way your next meal, so stop looking at me all hungrily while you drool at me. It’s WRONG, man! And trying to get all buddy-buddy with me won’t help your case, either. You only further irritate me by doing it. I will NEVER call you “dad” to your face, and only to your wife and children as a means of clarifying who, specifically, I’m talking about, and out of respect since I’m not your peer so I can’t just say “[your name]” this, or “[your name]” that. But never directly to your face. I don’t see you like that and will never have that much or that sort of respect for you.
You make me outrageously uncomfortable. It’s just not right that I’ve given you that much of that type of power over me. Steps will be taken to effect a change about that, be forewarned. Your days are numbered short. I have plenty of things to say to you, that you will have no possible come-backs to, and things that will potentially put you right on your ass.
Contrary to your “all-powerful degree,” you are nowhere near as intelligent as you try to make people believe you are…as intelligent as you seem to believe you, yourself, are. Please, you try living a day in my life, and see if you can manage to survive half the trials/struggles I’ve had to endure. Try handling yourself socially even half as well as I do. You may have those big book-smarts, but you would NEVER make it in a world where intelligence holds no weight or meaning.
The tendency you have to demean and belittle women…that consistently denotes your own insecurity and hatred of females. Well guess what? That time is well up now. Your wife may just take it all from you, but guess what? Not all the rest of us females will be doing the same. The rest of us females…we’ll be making a big stand against you. You’re a fucking coward. You kill everyone’s joy, and then you take your own joy from all of their misery. I think it’s just about the right time for you to be made very well aware of just how much of a terrible person you are all deep down in your soul. You have no qualms with your choices to step on people and put them down. That shit…is wack!
I cannot – and will not – sit idly by and just watch you continue the one “old timey traditional stigma” that men are better than women, simply by their gender at birth. Your sex has nothing to do with jack shit – it’s all about who you are as an individual; what’s in your mind, heart and soul. Your mind is dirty in the gutter. I’m not sure if you have a heart and if you do, it’s made of ice or cold, hard stone. And your soul – if you didn’t already sell it to the devil – has long been blackened.
Thus far, the top happiest days of my life are almost all included in: the day [The Husband] asked me to marry him, the night I graduated from high school, the afternoon Boogaloo was born, the day – a few days later – when [The Husband] and I got married, and the early, early morning when Pickle and I defied all the odds and she came screaming into the operating room. As soon as we move out of this filthy-ass house you pay rent for…the day that we finally live in our own home, THAT will be WAY up there on my list of good times from my life. It’s my turn to be really happy; and as childish as it may be, I’m going to take great joy in dashing your hopes of being the “big man on campus” here at the house now. Good luck trying to win all our affections from here on out. Now, it’s GAME OVER, you big jerk.

Unkind & unpleasantly as possible,
~The Daughter In-Law

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Stupid Phones

Filed Under: cranky days, husband letters, in-laws by Cait — Leave a comment
August 13, 2009

Dear Husband,
And really, anyone else who would be calling the house to talk to any of us, actually. The house phones are seemingly down. I can’t call out from here, with the house phone OR with my cell phone. (The cell phone thing is an entirely different scenario, and has more to do with the fact that Sprint can suck my left big toe for their unnecessary drama…it’s not OUR fault that they said the bill for July was already paid, thus leaving us free to save our money until the August bill was due, then deciding the last week of July to say “Oh, hey, we never got paid for your July usage, and now we’re going to suspend your service until you pay for 2MONTHS of service! Good luck coming up with over $600 to get your phones back on!! Yea, we’re switching to Verizon once Husband gets his first check from this job, I get it.) Where was I? Oh yea! So I can’t call you if anything goes horribly and terribly wrong with one of the kids. I can’t even call 911 because there is exactly NO dial tone when I try to pick up the phone. To the best of my knowledge, nobody has tried to call the house, but that assumption is only based on the fact that the phones have yet to ring today. I could be completely wrong, and people could’ve been trying to call all morning long, and just things are ridiculously screwed up and nothing will go through. Anyway, I just figured I’d let you know that we’re again stranded at home, but this time we can’t do anything at all about it because I can’t even use the phone to see if someone would be so kind as to come play with us. Anyway, we really are here, just can’t contact anybody, once again. I’m gonna go ahead and chalk this one up to your parents failing, once again, to do something they should’ve done, and now I’m paying the ultimate price for it. (Hey, thanks, a-holes!) Right, well we’ll be here whenever you get home, and hopefully something can be worked out so that we can fix all this crap before I completely lose my ever-loving sanity…not that I have very much of it left, so maybe we should expedite this whole process. (Hey AMSA 91, that would involve you deciding that paying Husband before the 27th of this month – at which point he will have been working for you for 4 business weeks – would be an excellent idea, and something worth going ahead and fixing!!) Have a nice day at work, and hopefully you don’t have anything too pressing to tell me, so it will all wait til you get home to tell me.

Love always,
~the Wife

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